Wednesday, August 09, 2006


Sometimes, what you think is going on isn't really what's going on.

We have some friends who've been good friends to us since we moved to NY. We were friends with them before they even started dating... and now they've been married for 3 years. There are some rather obvious differences that we've noticed, namely that they're hardcore scientists and Carl and I are crazy creative-types.

Lately, we had been feeling like we've been drifting apart from these friends. You know, Carl and I are pretty comfortable sharing our feelings on things. I'm not talking just saying you're angry when you're angry, or something like that. We've both learned how important it is to talk about feeling depressed, or feeling unfulfilled at work, or about how great a certain song makes me feel, or about how hilarious we found a certain movie. I guess we're passionate people- we get excited, we get sad, and we need to share it. They're a bit more buttoned up about things. They're less likely to express feelings. They can get very uncomfortable if there's a display of any emotion that's too strong, positive OR negative. They've seemed like they really don't want us to know a lot about what's going on in their lives, either. They seemed to be putting some distance between us and them.

I've had my undies in a bunch as of late about something, so we've not spent much time with them, my thoughts being that my unrest would make them uncomfortable. Well, lo and behold, when I finally explained, it turns out they have a similar situation. Actually worse. She seemed so relieved to talk about it. And we have plans to get together again, probably today, without all the awkwardness. I was just so wrong about it all!

I'm sorry, I know this is vague. I'd like to explain further, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to or not. I just thought it was nice that we were so mistaken about our friends' motives, and that we _are_ still friends.

1 comment:

Aprilynne said...

I know what you mean about that sort of thing, I had a similar situation with one of my friends and I, too was completely mistaken about the real issue. When the real problem came out though, I wasn't still friends with her now EX! You just never know what's going on in people's lives and things are rarely EVER what they seem.

Sometimes when things are rough in my life, I don't like to talk about it to too many people, maily b/c I don't always want my biz on the 'gossip circuit', but there are people I trust, and it's nice to know they are there when I need them and vice versa.