My First Day of Knitting School

By Susan

I signed up for a 3-night knitting class to make a felted bag. I went and got all my stuff in advance. I found a lovely purple heather skein of Cascade 220 (color 9454). I got my set of US10.5 dpns. I waited to buy a US10.5 circular needle to see if my Knit Picks Options (can't wait can't wait can't wait) would arrive in time. Considering I ordered them on Tuesday and class was Thursday, this was ridiculous, but hope springs eternal.

I get home from work Thursday and call the yarn shop to see when I need to buy my circular needle, because OF COURSE the set of wonder needles didn't arrive magically in 2 days. She says I could come a couple of minutes early because they are closed until class begins.

I believe that I may have given many of you the false impression that my cat, Kouros, is a good cat. This is simply not true. He is a holy terror. And on Thursday, he is in rare form. I have had a stupid thought recently. Since he tries to head out the door every time we come into the house, I thought taking him out in harness and leash might get it out of his system and eventually (HA!) he would be trained so that he would only go outside when his harness was on. So after I speak to the yarn shop lady, I try taking him out, and while he likes being outside, he despises the harness. When I take the harness off, he begins to shoot around the apartment at the speed of sound. After we get back in the house, it is crazy-go-nuts time. He jumps onto the coffee table and sweeps everything onto the floor, including the coasters, several magazines, a book, all 3 remotes and the hard cider I had just opened, which spills all over the floor.

An hour before class, I have another stupid thought. I think, "I need to wind my skein into a ball for class!" I don't have a ball winder. I know most yarn shops will wind the yarn for you. I KNOW! I don't know what I was thinking. I guess I didn't want to arrive unprepared. So I hang the skein from my coat rack and begin winding by hand. It would have been fine, except eventually that bad cat notices what I am doing. He jumps up and begins catching the very bottom of the skein with his hateful little claws. Meanwhile, I'm freaking out and trying to hang the yarn higher and my husband is reading something terribly important on Wikipedia and thus can't wrangle the cat for me. The final time the cat goes after the yarn, Sleepy-Voiced Husband comes and gets him, but the integrity of the skein has been compromised. And in my haste I make it worse. So now I have 3/4 of a skein wound into a ball, and the rest a tangled mess. And it is 6:35. Class starts at 7. Fortunately the shop is only a few blocks from my house.

I eventually give up on my skein. I change out of my work clothes (which have little bits of dried nasty grape all over the sleeves) and go to grab my knitting bag. I hadn't noticed my knitting bag was in the line of fire in the earlier hard cider incident. Several hearty gulps of cider are pooled in the bottom of my bag. All of my stuff is wet, including the jaywalker I'm working on. I have to take everything out to dry and put whatever I think I may need (that isn't completely cider-covered) in a plastic grocery bag. My husband, back at the Wikipedia again, informs me that I really should get going. He gets his head bitten off.

I pull up to the yarn shop (because I left my house at about 5 minutes of 7:00 and had to drive) right at 7, according to my clock. The lady sees me and says, "You need to buy a needle, right?" I look back at the table where I usually see classes, and it's empty. Only 1 woman in the shop, looking at yarn. Yay! I'm not too late! She rings me up and says, "Ok, you can head to the back room. The others are back there already. I'm teaching a different class up front." So I interrupted her class to buy my needle. Damn. And as I walk past the clock, I see that their clock says it's about 7:12. Double damn.

The teacher and the other 3 women were all knitting away happily when I arrive. I sit down, and the teacher (Marie) says, "We'll get you caught up. You just need your yarn and your circular needle." So I slap down my wad of tangled yarn and tell my sad tale and everyone tells me that they would have wound the yarn for me. I KNOW! I KNOW! Marie helps me detangle the yarn for the next 10 minutes or so. I spend the rest of the class behind, but that's not a big deal. I'm always behind. And late. The final moment of “DUH!” comes when she says we need 4 stitch markers, one of a contrasting color to the other 3. I only brought 1 kind, because the bag of my other stitch markers was full of beer. By that point, though, I was completely numb, and was just used to being the class dunce.

But you know what? Class was awesome! I had a great time! I liked the other people, and after knitting a lot on socks lately, knitting on 10.5s was terribly satisfying. I can’t wait for next Thursday.

Sometimes you just have to get used to how you roll. I guess I sort of roll downhill without brakes (after getting to the top of the hill late).