An Ode to Caffeine

Hi! How are you? You're looking lovely today! Have you been exercising? You've got such a healthy glow about you. Really, you look sensational. Hi!

I'm drinking my first cup of caffeinated coffee since January! HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

It's so lovely. It's so good. Just this morning, I was telling the Sleepy-Voiced Husband, "You know, I miss the intelligence that comes with drinking coffee." It's that feeling of clarity and alertness. I don't miss the caffeine addiction- oh, trust me, I was a huge junkie- but I love that burst of, "Ah yes, I understand both quantum physics AND how to work doorknobs now that I've had my fix. I am unstoppable!"

This morning, leaving for work, I needed to grab a spoon and a knife for my lunch. At break, SVH asked if I had a knife. I said, "Why yes, I do!" I reached into my bag and pulled out a fork. Yes, people, I grabbed the wrong utensil. Forks are useful for eating things, especially things like salad and cake, but they are not so good for cutting bagels and spreading peanut butter. This is what happens without coffee. And also maybe when a lot of your blood flow is diverted from your brain to your belly. Just saying.

My downside is that I talk CONSTANTLY when I'm on a real caffeine high. I stopped my coworker, Deb, to tell her I had saved her a piece of cake, and I talked to her, rapid-fire, for 20 minutes! It can be funny. It can also be twitchy and jittery and a little bit scary and you may wonder if I don't need to breathe anymore or something because I'm not really stopping to take a breath and shouldn't I also blink sometimes? Such joy, though. SUCH JOY!!!!!!

I want to paint cups of coffee for coffee shop decor. I think I could put such love and adoration for the coffee into these works, business would TRIPLE! Actually, I think I promised Dave from Chub Creek a painting once upon a time, and I wanted it to involve coffee. I really should get on that, because Dave is great. You know, funny podcast, good music, all that. Really, I love everyone right now. Wow. I don't think there's much hope in my staying off of caffeine (and coffee, specifically. COFFEE!) once the baby is born. I enjoy it far too much.

Real quick, because this coffee high will end sometime and I may not get here tomorrow, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW, JENNY! She's my knitting friend in Minnesota, and she doesn't like birthdays, but I LOVE them and I also have had some coffee so I'm saying HAPPY BIRTHDAY, you little Cinco de Mayo Baby, you!