Did I ever tell you...

...about the time we had to go to a workplace violence training session? We weren't trained to be violent in the workplace, of course. We were being trained on ways to avoid violence in the workplace. The first suggestion of the video was not to hire people who were likely to become violent, which was my first clue that this video was meant for people who had control over things like HIRING and not for average employees like me.

The part of that meeting I was thinking of just now was the email announcing the training. It said "You are cordially invited, but required to attend, a training session blah blah blah." Don't you just love that one?

I won't go on too much about all the off-color comments made between myself (I was sitting in the very front, of course), Fantastic Boss, and my Sleepy-Voiced Coworker/Husband. We were particularly interested in whether violence between Carl and myself would qualify as workplace or domestic violence because we're married. Just in case you were wondering, domestic violence that spills over into the workplace is considered workplace violence. I realize this is a serious subject, but because this training made no attempt to separate what employees at different levels of authority could do, nearly all suggestions had nothing to do with what would be my response or role in such things. So I became a 10-year-old again and made jokes. Quietly. To the people next to me. And then try desperately not to laugh.

So after a long morning of stifling the giggles, the piece de resistance was when our safety coordinator announced that she was available for questions 24/7. Except weekends. And evenings. And holidays.