Sleepless in Geneva

I woke up in the middle of the night on Saturday night and couldn't get back to sleep for the worrying. You know that feeling? I used to have it a lot worse. When I was still in grad school or in the process of leaving, I had such problems being able to get back to sleep when I woke up. I've had very little trouble with it since I a) left school, b) got a little pharmaceutical help with the anxiety and c) started my new life as a host organism to a really cute parasite (see photo). In fact, I'm sleeping more than I have since I was a child. So this inability to get back to sleep was unusual.

I was worrying a little about the summer show that I'm doing, but that's relatively minor. It has actually begun to make me feel creative again, and getting my sketch pads and pastels out has lit that creative fire that I've been missing for the past few months.

I was worrying more about where we're headed. I've been blathering on for a year now about how I want to move back to MN. I mean, excuse the expression, but shit or get off the pot, right? You can only whine about something so long. But there are a lot of factors. I was feeling guilty for being slow about job hunting. We're really far away, and I feel like that's been a liability thus far. Also, I'm getting closer and closer to needing to take time off, and I feel like that makes it less and less likely that I'll be able to get a job. I know that it is illegal for me to be discriminated against because of my "condition," but at the same time, it does limit some of the jobs for which I might apply. I could look for a summer appointment in some sort of greenhouse or nursery, but I'm not really up to a lot of the physical requirements of these jobs. The summer camp gardening teaching positions I've looked at need a guarantee that you can finish out the term, which usually ends about a week before my due date. It probably won't be a problem, but what if I get put on bed rest? Can I honestly apply for that job when the job description clearly states "Applicants must seriously consider their ability to complete the entire appointment."

Or am I just making excuses? While the camp ones sound kind of fun, I don't really want to be in science anymore. Another thing I've been whining about for a year. I'm looking for a job to get us back. To give me benefits so I can have a baby without having to pay exhorbitant health insurance premiums through Cobra for too long. I need to suck it up, and in my head, I'm mostly ok with getting a job to get us moved. It's temporary. It isn't very motivating, though.

I'm also concerned about money. Who isn't? It's always a factor. We're in big time debt repayment mode. We're making progress and we don't want to interrupt it. Right now, I'm wondering if it's best for us to use our savings so I can take a longer maternity leave (or any maternity leave, depending on my employment situation?), or do we use it for a downpayment so we can have a place to live when we move, or will it be necessary for other things I'm not even thinking of? Or do we need it to cover living expenses when we move if we don't have jobs. It's not a bottomless account. In fact, I can see the bottom quite clearly! [Fortunately, moving expenses are covered- thank God for eager parents who want their next grandchild to live in the same state!]

These are the things I was sitting there at 5 am thinking through and feeling scared. The one thing that is certain in my life right now is that the baby is coming at the end of the summer, regardless of what else is going on. Finally, my cat came over, curled up near me, and purred. I'm an extroverted person, and I've had great success with talk therapy, so I started talking. To my cat. And he sat there, looking at me the whole time and purring. Almost made me cry. But what was the most useful to me was hearing things said out loud (even though I was whispering because SVH was asleep in the next room). I said, "In 2 years, our financial situation is going to look so different! We'll be in so much better shape, we'll be able to afford more house, and live a bit more comfortably. I might not even need to work full time!"

And I began to contemplate staying in our little 1 bedroom apartment with the litterbox in the closet and the annoying lack of space while adding a baby to the mix. And I contemplated staying in my current job, which really offers very little in the way of advancement. And Carl staying in his current job, which offers absolutely nothing in the way of advancement. And I thought of how bored we are with our work. And I thought about continuing to live in a town I don't like, working in a job that doesn't interest me, living in a too small apartment (or heaven forbid moving to yet ANOTHER temporary home) and dealing with a husband who is even more unhappy with it all than I am. I said to my purring, furry shrink, "But the answer isn't to stay here."

Rarely in my life has settling for the known ever gotten me where I wanted to go. Staying here would only keep us, at best, in the same situation and going at the same pace we are currently going. There is no possible chance to make progress. By staying here, aside from being unhappy, we could be missing out on so many opportunities. Out of fear. We'd still need more space. So if we're going to move, we might as well make the big move. I'm a pretty adventurous girl. I'm willing to take risks. You should play cards with me. This is no time to get cold feet. Not when we're about to bring another person into our family. There are certain conditions we need that simply are not available here and now. Period.

The cat decided he didn't want to snuggle with me once I laid down to go back to sleep on the couch. In fact, he looked quite put out that I moved him from his spot. The magic spell had been broken. But I felt so much better. I still have that scared little voice in the back of my mind. I still have this fear that I should somehow become the uberstable mother and make all decisions based on absolute security. But I know moving on is the right thing to do. Even though I'm slow about it. Even though it might be scary and tough. And I've not had any trouble sleeping since.

An Ode to Caffeine

Hi! How are you? You're looking lovely today! Have you been exercising? You've got such a healthy glow about you. Really, you look sensational. Hi!

I'm drinking my first cup of caffeinated coffee since January! HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

It's so lovely. It's so good. Just this morning, I was telling the Sleepy-Voiced Husband, "You know, I miss the intelligence that comes with drinking coffee." It's that feeling of clarity and alertness. I don't miss the caffeine addiction- oh, trust me, I was a huge junkie- but I love that burst of, "Ah yes, I understand both quantum physics AND how to work doorknobs now that I've had my fix. I am unstoppable!"

This morning, leaving for work, I needed to grab a spoon and a knife for my lunch. At break, SVH asked if I had a knife. I said, "Why yes, I do!" I reached into my bag and pulled out a fork. Yes, people, I grabbed the wrong utensil. Forks are useful for eating things, especially things like salad and cake, but they are not so good for cutting bagels and spreading peanut butter. This is what happens without coffee. And also maybe when a lot of your blood flow is diverted from your brain to your belly. Just saying.

My downside is that I talk CONSTANTLY when I'm on a real caffeine high. I stopped my coworker, Deb, to tell her I had saved her a piece of cake, and I talked to her, rapid-fire, for 20 minutes! It can be funny. It can also be twitchy and jittery and a little bit scary and you may wonder if I don't need to breathe anymore or something because I'm not really stopping to take a breath and shouldn't I also blink sometimes? Such joy, though. SUCH JOY!!!!!!

I want to paint cups of coffee for coffee shop decor. I think I could put such love and adoration for the coffee into these works, business would TRIPLE! Actually, I think I promised Dave from Chub Creek a painting once upon a time, and I wanted it to involve coffee. I really should get on that, because Dave is great. You know, funny podcast, good music, all that. Really, I love everyone right now. Wow. I don't think there's much hope in my staying off of caffeine (and coffee, specifically. COFFEE!) once the baby is born. I enjoy it far too much.

Real quick, because this coffee high will end sometime and I may not get here tomorrow, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW, JENNY! She's my knitting friend in Minnesota, and she doesn't like birthdays, but I LOVE them and I also have had some coffee so I'm saying HAPPY BIRTHDAY, you little Cinco de Mayo Baby, you!

An Inconvenient Truth

My Sleepy-Voiced Husband is home, safe and sound, and all is right with the world once again. Except that I have gained 15 pounds of awkward weight in the belly that makes me ungainly and maybe a little bit slow when trying to sweep under the benches in the greenhouse. That might be why SVH swept 2 of the greenhouses in the time it took me to sweep one.

Yesterday, I saw An Inconvenient Truth, finally. Is it wrong that I have a geek crush on Al Gore now? I thought the documentary was well made; I appreciated the way they juxtaposed his life with his talk about Global Warming. I just admire that he has taken his "catastrophic event" and moved through it gracefully and is now making his life's work about preventing other catastrophic events. I'm not a climatologist, but his information looked scientifically sound to me. I've been reading and hearing these same things for years in journal articles for classes. Thank whatever-higher-power-you-choose that the recent trend of pretending Global Warming just isn't happening or is some vengeful, leftist propaganda plot seems to be on the downswing.

So, if you haven't seen it, go! There's a nice update in the special features in which Gore discusses what has happened since the 2005 talk. The website is helpful, too. It's such an important topic, please take the time to see it.

The best laid plans, blah blah blah...

Remember on Saturday, when I talked about all the things I was going to get done this week? I have not done ANY more of it than I had last time I posted. Plus, one of my little mattress fixes came undone. Sigh. It seems that just the regular daily stuff plus 9 hours at work is all this little Mama can handle.

I guess there was Tuesday... Kouros woke me up twice in the night, vomiting up his food. I had also found a bolt lodged in my tire on my way home from yoga Monday night (too late to do anything about it that day). So Tuesday morning, on the way to work to quick tell my coworker that I was running to the mechanic, the clicking of the bolt on the pavement stopped... and the tire was flat a block later when I pulled into work. Fortunately, the lovely mechanic came, plugged the hole and made everything all better for about what I'd have to spend to get free Amazon shipping. Kouros got in to see the vet Tuesday after work (he was still leaving piles of regurgitated food when I got home) and it turns out all he needed was some hairball treatment. All's well that ends well. It was more than the daily grind, but none of it was stuff I could cross off my little list.

The things I have been doing, like cooking for myself, keeping the house clean, taking care of my kitty, have been good. I can feel good knowing that my priorities are in order. I know I need to find a job in MN if I want to move. I know I need to get rid of some of the crap in our house so that we don't have to move it across the country again. I know I need to get the set sketches done for our summer musical. I've been an all-nighter, push myself to the limit kind of woman in my past, but right now, it just can't be that way. I'm not going to risk my or my child's health for a job, a theatre group or anything else.

It's hard for me to realize that I can't do everything all the time. I may love the goal of simplifying, may find solace in things like yoga and meditation, but I still have that bit of myself that wants to go full speed all the time and rack up a dizzying list of accomplishments while having the clarity of a simple lifestyle. I may never lose that desire, but I've found that some of the limitations pregnancy has placed on me have been good for me. I'm so fortunate to have the luxury of being able to slow down some during this time; I don't have to work two jobs, and I don't have ailing relatives or small children who need constant care. I can whittle down the demands on my time without dire consequences. Perhaps this week hasn't been the loss I was originally thinking it was.

Hey Hermano!

Have you ever tried to do futon mattress repair? Especially when you have no idea what you're doing? My advice is get a really long needle. My needle is only about 3" long (I so didn't want to go out of town for one stinking needle), and it has been PAINFUL on my poor fingers. I repaired 3 little puckery-quilty-things and it took me about 3 (or maybe 4) episodes of Arrested Development. On DVD. So no commercials, but that's still over an hour. I'd like to blame Kouros, and while he did try to chew through some of the excess cord I was using, it wasn't really a problem. Carl has the camera for the week, so I have no ability to document the fascinating progress (and for this, you should be grateful).

I did get the dishes and the grocery shopping done. I also swept the apartment and did a load of laundry. Home is liveable. I was pretty tired this weekend so I didn't get as far as I'd have liked. I have yoga after work today, and between that and just the normal daily stuff, I won't make myself do any extras today. I need to get some good sleeping done.

Speaking of Arrested Development, any fans out there? That show is absolutely brilliant! I was disappointed when it got canceled, but it was on during a busy time for me, so I wasn't really able to watch it regularly. That is totally the key to this show. You need to see them all so you can catch all the call-backs to jokes in previous episodes. ["Brother" in English, Italian, Spanish and French gets lots of mileage] This show lends itself SO well to DVD because you can watch them all in a short period and catch jokes. You can also pause it and see all the jokes put into newspaper clippings, webpages and other printed material shown on-screen. I think this show has become my all-time favorite. It may be dethroning The Office (in all its incarnations) and News Radio as my favorite of all time. If you haven't see Arrested Development and you like those other shows? Do yourself a favor and rent season 1, PRONTO! That was me speaking Italian. Ciao, Fratello!

Good intentions...

It is so BEAUTIFUL outside today! I've got the windows open to air the winter out of this poor apartment. There's a loverly breeze blowing through and I'm just so happy that FINALLY spring is here. In the past 48 hours, every daffodil in town has exploded. This winter was so long, and even though there was still a small pile of snow left on the edge of a parking lot I saw earlier, I'm pretty confident in saying that's the end of that for another year. Please, please don't let me jinx it by saying that!

So I've got some time to myself in the next week, and I've decided there are some tasks that need doing. Some of them relate to moving (job applications, getting rid of unwanted possessions so I don't have to move them across the country), some of them relate to improving current living conditions (decluttering, cleaning) and some of them are things I just haven't gotten around to doing (mend the hole in that sweater, send a package, sketches for summer sets). I've been working on a list, and trying to figure out how to get these things divided up over the next 10 days or so.

Today, I need to finish the massive pile of dishes I started last night. If there were one task I could never have to do again in my life? Dishes. Hands down. I'll wash windows, I'll mop floors, I'll clean toilets. I despise doing the dishes. Next place we live? Dishwasher. Definitely. That's a deal breaker.

I also need to pick up groceries so the bambino/a and I are well nourished, which means more lists. I need lists. My mind is to jumbled and cluttered and swirled, so without lists, I flit from thing to thing and never complete a single task.

Finally, that bad cat that lives in my house has pulled out the quilting in our futon mattress. I know, we should have gotten a cover immediately, but we didn't, and he has managed to pull the cords out that help the mattress keep from slumping. I've got the mattress lying flat so I can start to get it back into shape. I bought some cord and long needles, so once I beat the stuffing back to where it belongs, I'll replace the ties Kouros ripped out. Little brat.

.....

So after I wrote that, I talked to my Dad for an hour, and got invited to dinner at a friend's. Perhaps that will be added to my to-do list for tonight and tomorrow? Shit, I'm already falling behind. Why aren't you people keeping me on track?

Thump, thump

There's a lot of sad and disturbing stuff in the news these days. So I've been mostly avoiding it. For the time being, I've been trying to make sure the person I'm building to contribute to the world has as healthy and happy a start as I can give. A stressed out Mama won't be any help. I've been focused inward a lot more, which has been rewarding, because I've started feeling the baby moving around in the past day or so. No wonder Cari called her child Thumper while still in the womb- that's exactly what it feels like. I can't wait to be able to feel it from the outside, so SVH can enjoy it, too. He's been known to hold the cat like a baby in preparation for impending fatherhood.

In other news, I've got a lot of stuff that needs to get done soon, so over the next week or so, I may be using y'all as my to-do list police. Sometimes, you just need people to be looking over your shoulder, keeping you on task. I'll try to include cute cat pictures in there regularly to keep things from getting too dull round here.

Visual DNA

This little thing was fun. It was fairly descriptive, in the vague way these personality test things can be. More importantly, when you're choosing your little things "about me," the pictures are really gorgeous. It made me want chocolate and a vacation.

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Like mother, like child

We had an ultrasound on Thursday, and it looks like we've got a little thumb-sucker!

I sucked my thumb for years. I guess this one takes after me.














I felt inspired and started a little baby sweater in happy citrus colors to counter the dismal weather. It'll be cute for a boy or a girl- we decided not to learn the sex of the baby. We're just really, really excited!

Twenty Weeks

Here's that latest belly shot... not quite 4 weeks after this one:
I wore the same outfit on purpose so you could compare. This blue shirt doesn't cover as much as it used to. Thank goodness for the tummy sleeve. I'm long waisted as it is, so my shirts were always just long enough. The moment I started to show, I was showing skin, too. I also didn't bother with the makeup today, because I was running behind this morning. Pregnancy has not been kind to my complexion.

Easter Trip

I meant to leave a note on Thursday but didn't get to it. I spent the weekend in NJ at my grandparents' house with my parents, sister and brother. They had new video of my nephew, too! Got to see the first bath, which was so damn cute I could barely stand it. It was wonderful to see them. They took lots of video and still pictures of me and my big old belly (I'll post one here soon), which made me feel so good! I was kind of fun to be fussed over. My sister Cat kept talking to my belly, willing it to be a girl so she could buy lots of dresses this time.

It was also sad, because I don't think Grandpa will be around much longer. Usually when we go there he is grumpy and unpleasant. This time he was docile and kind of out of it. He's weaker than I've ever seen him, and he got sick on Sunday. He was put on some antibiotics, so I hope he's doing better today. Still, I don't think he plans to be around much longer. He smiled at my belly a lot and laughed at the antics of SVH and my siblings (we have SO much fun together!), but he seemed rather detached. I'm worried about my Grandma, because she's holding on to him with white knuckles, bound and determined to keep him alive, and once he goes, I think she's going to be a little lost. So strange. A few years ago they seemed to be waiting each other out, just barely able to stand each other.

Well, that's it. I'll post pictures soon. Now, I need to get to work. Kiss kiss!

I should have known

At lunch yesterday, I was trying to get into the refrigerator, but I was having difficulties. See, SVH had 3 pairs of shoes on the little mat in front of the outside door, and they got pushed in front of the fridge door. I started laughing and asked if he had any more shoes he could put there. He went into the living room, got another pair of sneakers and tossed them at my feet. "There."

I managed to get over the pile and into the fridge (our door opens on the wrong side and I've never gotten around to switching it). Suddenly I hear THUNK, THUNK, THUD! against the door. He said, "There, that's all of them from the closet, too." Kouros was a little freaked out.

He said he hopes our baby gets his sense of the sublime.

*Sniff*

We got this postcard in the mail yesterday. We gave our godchild, Gabby, a book of watercolor postcards for Christmas. We addressed the first one to ourselves so she could paint it and send it to us.

Fred and George

I love that the Weasley Twins's birthday is April 1st. I don't know if that was specifically mentioned in the books or if I got it off of JK Rowling's website. Anyway, happy birthday, Fred and George. I wish I had left school in the same flamboyant manner they did.

Finally, I got new batteries for the camera, and I have a picture of the gifty Fetchings. I think this yarn (Baruffa Maratona) is a slightly lighter worsted weight, so they came out wee. I added a second twist at the knuckles because they were so short. It's ok, Nicole is wee, too. They fit her perfectly. The weather up here is taking a turn for the shitty this week, too, so they may still be of use to her yet this season.

Earlier today, Carl was sitting at the computer and said, "Did you see the huge chunk of bread on our window sill?" Well, I could see the window sill, and there was no bread on it whatsoever. He said, "On the outside!" And sure enough...

I had no idea how it got up there- we're on the second floor and it's a sheer drop to the ground. I didn't hear anyone chucking bread at our windows last night. I did hear some drunk college kids staggering back to campus, and Carl heard some big rowdiness across the street when a party broke up, but it was all voices at a distance.

Then, an hour or two later, a fat squirrel ran along the sill, retrieved his bread, and scampered back across the street on the telephone line. Unfortunately, I wasn't quick enough with the camera. And Kouros wasn't quick enough, either.

P.S. I totally forgot that yesterday was my 1 year blog birthday! I had been looking forward to it, and then it completely slipped past me. Anyway, thanks for listening for all this time!

Did anyone find an extra 7 days?

I lost a week. I'm not sure where it went. I kept thinking that I had just posted, but it's been a week. It hasn't even been a particularly busy week. I did a lot of job searching and research into continuing health insurance coverage after leaving a job, but that wasn't all consuming. I don't know what the hell happened.

I did finish my second gift fetching. Of course I don't have my camera with me, and I brought them to work because I thought I'd be having lunch with the recipient this week. Perhaps I will 1) bring the fetching home tonight, 2) get new batteries for my camera and 3) take a photo to share. I think I might have added a stitch or two to the picot bind off, because mine is very toothy-looking.

I have also found a place to get rid of the red heart and the acrylic I tried to teach myself to knit and crochet with in high school. I'm donating it to the Knittas! Should you have some yarn you want to get rid of, they said they're always happy to receive new yarn for their tagging missions. Just click on contact and send them a note. They'll get in touch and tell you where to send stuff. I love their knitted graffiti, and I love that they take acrylic yarn! That's one more box I don't have to move halfway across the country.

P.S. I did check the orange conditioner bottle- the nudist sport is volleyball. I think April left that in the comments last time, but I wanted to let you all know that I was thinking of you in the grocery store, and I checked so I could share the knowledge.

Amusements

We have this shampoo and conditioner, and I can't remember which kind it is (maybe herbal essences or something?) , but it amuses me to no end. For each kind of shampoo and conditioner, such as extra body, or moisturizing or what have you, they have trivia questions. The answer to the shampoo is on the conditioner and vice versa. What tickles me so is that we have two different "styles" of shampoo and conditioner right now, so the questions and answers don't match up. This is the one I read every morning and smile to myself:

Q: What is the most popular sport played in nudist colonies?

A: Yourself.

It just brightens my day. Next time I'm in the grocery store, I'll have to pick up the orange colored conditioner and see what the actual most popular sport played in nudist colonies is, even though it can't be any better than my answer.

I'm also amused by the fact that the first time I typed nudist, I spelled it nudest. Like it's a competition.

Other amusements include the fact that my belly suddenly popped this week. By Wednesday, my belly had gotten all taut. My navel hasn't started to stick out, but it's become perfectly round. When I was first gaining weight and it was all soft, my belly button had gone all deep and horizontal. Now, I can suddenly get to spots in there than I never have before. It's the cleanest my navel has been in 32 years!

We have a friend coming up to visit from DC. I emailed his wife a month ago to tell her about my "condition" and I don't think she's checked her email since. Or maybe it's been shut down since she's graduated. Anyhoo, it should be funny to see how Clint reacts. I've had several people at work eyeing me, not wanting to ask, but still pretty suspicious. We'll have to see how word travels, eh?

Well, I have to go eradicate some spider mites. Don't worry, I'm only spraying soap on them. I don't do anything stronger than that right now. Not while I'm a host organism myself.

Lots on the Needles

I've not had a very good attention span lately. And my knitting shows it. These are all "projects" (and I use the term lightly) that I started after the Christmas knitting was done, so Christmas day or later. I call it the ADD gallery...


Clockwise from the upper right: 1 1/2 Fetchings in Baruffa Maratona (a VERY late Christmas present for my patient friend Nicole); a provisional cast-on for Enid in Elsebeth Lavold Silky Wool, with the swatch in the center; 1 1/3 Fetchings in Knit Picks Swish Superwash (for me); the beginning of a toe-up wee baby sock in some left over purple Dale Baby Ull (for my little bun); and the cuff +1 1/2 pattern repeats of the Rainy Day socks in Austermann Step.

My first priority to finish is the gift Fetchings. I can get it done by the time I have lunch with Nicole on Wednesday. I realize that is not a great feat, but I've been slow.

I've done no art to speak of. I think it's time to begin sketching again. I couldn't even think about it for a while. I began to miss painting so much I could barely stand it, but I learned that oils are a big no-no for pregnant ladies. But I miss drawing, too. My husband and doctor together suggested I begin to work in crayons. So nice when your doctor is as much of a smartass as your husband. Oh well, at least she laughs at the things he says, rather than being totally appalled.

Speaking of that baby in the belly, here's the first of the pregnant profile shots. I'm almost 17 weeks in this picture (just over a week shy of entering my 5th month). I don't think I'll be hiding much anymore, do you?

It Worked!

Those crossed fingers worked! My nephew Jordan was born at 2:31 central time on the Ides of March. He was 8 pounds, 1 oz, 21 inches long, and had 3 1/2 inch long feet! I think my nephew got some of the same genes as his Uncle Jes (my "little" brother with the size 16 feet).

I've spoken with my Mom (aka Nana) and the proud new parents, and they all can't stop talking about how wonderful he is. My Mom is even a nurse! She had 4 of her own! And yet, she is now 100% thrilled and delighted with her new role as a grandmother. She sounded enthralled when she talked about how beautiful and how soft he is. It is so cute! She said, "Oh, Susan, I am so excited for you guys! It's just so wonderful." I'm so excited to see him, but it made me even more excited to have my own! It's suddenly all much more real.

My sister is practically high she's so happy, which is a good thing because she wound up having a C-section, and she's not so good with pain, like I said. Jordan was sideways up until a week and a half before his due date. He finally turned head down, and they decided they didn't have to schedule a c-section after all. Then, once they broke her water yesterday, the little stinker turned sideways again. The doctor got him all turned properly, took his hands off Annie's belly, and Jordan immediately moved back sideways again. Stubborn little rascal... sounds EXACTLY like his mother.

When I talked with Annie yesterday, she couldn't stop saying (in a rapturous voice), "He's so cute! He's just so cute! I can't believe I made him!" When I finally interrupted her to ask how she was feeling, she said, "Um, pretty shitty, actually." Ok. The first time Carl met Annie, she was moaning, "I'm DYING and no one cares!" She was having what we found later to be a problem with her appendix. Every time she had these pains and we took her to the doctor, none of the tests they did showed any indication that her appendix was the problem. Several years later, during her appendectomy, she kept starting to go into shock as they tried to bring her out from under the anesthesia. Her body is overly sensitive to pain even when her drama-queen consciousness is subdued. For this woman to not even mention her own discomfort until asked is a testament to the power of motherhood, I guess. I'm still not sure what the body snatchers did with my sister... but we'll keep this one.

My brother-in-law has been a big old puddle over the whole thing. He's so excited he can barely stand it. He holds and talks to Jordan every chance he gets. Jason is an only child, and I'm pretty sure yesterday was the first time he ever held a baby. My Dad has already been to the hospital with the video camera, so one of these days, I'll get to actually see the baby! My Dad is a psychologist, and he had been called over to the jail while Jordan was on his way, so he had to visit later. [Mom shocked the nurse when she told Annie Dad couldn't come right away because he was at the jail. Kind of like the time Annie answered the phone when she was little and said Dad couldn't come to the phone because he was in jail.] The other day, Dad was telling me how excited they were about the coming grandchildren. I can't wait to see my Dad as Grandpa. We've always loved seeing him with babies and kids, because he genuinely likes them. He was such a great Dad, he played and played with us, and I can't wait to see him with the next generation. He'll probably be out in the back yard playing hide and seek with Jordan the way he used to play with us.

It has been so much fun to hear and see the transformation of my family. I'm really glad I got to watch all of this. I've always been the first to do everything, and I've been so caught up in what's going on with me, I don't know if I've ever really observed the effects on the rest of the fam. I've really enjoyed seeing this. It's made me SO excited to have my baby. I know things work out the way they should- I'm a firm believer in that. I think for the first time, I'm actually glad for the way things happened. Last summer's miscarriage was sad and painful, but in a way, it's made everything so much better now. I don't know if I'd change anything. Everything just seems really right.

Have a wonderful day, loves!

The Waiting Auntie

Hopefully, my nephew-in-progress is making his way into the world as we speak. He is a week late, going by the latest due date given. As of a couple of days ago, my sister was dialated barely 1 cm. Fortunately for her, they have this thing now that acts on the cervix to cause dialation- the doctor kept referring to it as "the Barbie tampon." I'm not sure if this is different than the Prostaglandin suppositories or not. I am glad to hear about these options that don't involve a big old dose of pitocin. Or a very small dose, whatever. It's just supposed to make things so much more painful.

So... soon? This little boy is trying to break my sister of her planning, scheduled ways already. It amuses me to no end, because I've always been a little more fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants. Anyhoo, keep your fingers crossed for my hypersensitive-to-pain sister. She needs a short labor and a good strong epidural.

Girls in White Dresses With Blue Satin Sashes

Random list of favorite books:
Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenedes
The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera
Portrait in Sepia by Isabelle Allende
Cat's Eye by Margaret Atwood
The Ground Beneath Her Feet by Salman Rushdie
The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver
A Wrinkle in Time by Madeline L'Engle
Shopgirl by Steve Martin
Any of the Harry Potter books by JK Rowling
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Hunger by Knut Hamsun
Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell

Usually, those books that I truly love I will read repeatedly. I also love to read a book and then get an audio copy to hear it in someone else's voice. The Harry Potter series are an exception here, because I've only actually "read" the fifth one. The rest I've only listened to, albeit over and over and over again... love you, Jim Dale! He's such an amazing reader.

Some of the books in my list, however, are books I've only read once, but could not put down. Or I actually took the time in college, when there were many other demands on my time, not the least of which was dinking around with friends, to read the book because it captivated me. I think a book that can hold onto you, despite your very strong urge to slack off, deserves some credit, don't you?

Then there's my candy reading. I'm a sucker for murder mysteries. I dearly love me a Patricia Cornwell book where you get to follow the whole forensic investigation. Or Kathy Reichs. I'm partial to the John Sandford books because they take place in my beloved Twin Cities. Lucas Davenport apprehended a suspect at the gas station just a block from my old apartment, and I love being able to see exactly where things are taking place in my mind. I also adore the Dianne Mott Davidson books featuring the caterer/crime-solver extraordinaire, Goldy Schultz. Yes, I know. A caterer who always happens to be around when people are dying. Or else she knows the people who are dying. And her husband's a cop. But come on! Murder mystery + recipes? Fantastic. I love to combine my candy reading and food. I've made several of the recipes in the books, too. Excellent.

I also love completely unique worlds. Like Hogwarts, like Narnia, like the Old Kingdom in the Garth Nix books. I'm a little more choosy when it comes to fantasy books. I'm much less inclined to pick up just anything. But there's something wonderful about completely escaping the world I inhabit.

I'm sure I'll remember a dozen wonderful books, left off the list. There will probably be an addendum once I return home, scan the bookshelves and see favorites jumping off the shelves at me.

I bet you've wondered...

...what Kouros has been up to, right?


He sits in cardboard boxes.














He reclines under the drying sections of his freshly cleaned commode.












And he steps in the crust of the tart I try to make for dinner.

So Many Thanks

You're all so damn sweet! I have the best imaginary friends on the whole internets! Thanks for all the lovely wishes and congratulations. We're very excited. It's been a fun so far... well, other than the gas.

I am so excited by Hesira's post today. You need to go check it out. Remember when I tagged everyone to share beauty, both your own and those of the beautiful people you see every day? Hesira wrote about a young woman from one of her classes, and included a picture that just glows. It just made me so happy.

In that spirit I wanted to share a moment I had a couple of years ago. I watched the movie About Schmidt late one night, while I was alone. Kathy Bates plays something of a free spirit in the movie, and at one point decides to join Jack Nicholson in a hot tub, in the buff. She is, of course, perfectly comfortable, and he is not. At the time, I remember talk show hosts, morning radio idiots and all sorts of other geniuses making LOTS of jokes about a woman of Kathy Bates's size doing a nude scene. The thing is, the scene is not meant to be erotic or sexy or anything other than awkward. Yet, there are a couple of seconds in which the camera is behind Kathy Bates as she steps into the hot tub.

And I was shocked at how gorgeous she was. She was all round and pink and curves and suddenly all those Rubenesque women I've seen in paintings throughout history made sense. I felt like I'd broken through that current beauty ideal barrier to appreciate the beauty those painters saw and captured. I'm really thankful for that moment.

In the way of explanations...

So tomorrow would have been my due date, had my pregnancy this summer gone to term.

Which is why it seems like a perfect time to tell you...

THIS TIME THERE'S SOMETHING IN THERE!!!

This ultrasound is from a month ago, and a 9-week embryo is a little lump of a baby, but it has a heartbeat, and we've heard it a couple of times, and everything seems to be going along well! I'm nearly 14 weeks, and I'm due August 29th.

So this is my reason for spotty posting, zero knitting and art content, and the general lack of anything interesting. I've spent a lot of the past month and a half on the couch. I truly have lost my ability to multitask. Usually I knit while watching tv, but since I've been pregnant, I can't manage much more than a little drooling while watching. If I knit, I have to concentrate totally on it or I screw up. Oil painting has been out of the question due to things like heavy metal pigments and icky solvents. And I've just been so bone tired. I'm starting to get some more energy back, though, and while I had a couple weeks of all day nausea, I was only sick once. All 48 oz of water for the ultrasound came back up. Obviously it still worked, but next time I won't bother with quite so much at a time. That much liquid wanting out all at once is pretty hard on a girl.

I'm sure as I progress I'll be more energetic and I might even have some interesting things to share. For the time being, I'm reading a lot, still trying to get back to MN before we have the baby, and getting lots of sleep. And the Sleepy-Voiced Husband and I have been enjoying finally being able to share our news with friends and family. We're both really excited!

The Birthday Post

Disclaimer:
If you came here thinking there would be pictures, as I claimed in my last post, you've been misled. I couldn't figure out how to take images from all the home videos my Dad put on DVD for me. By the way, my Dad got a video camera in 1981! There is video of the 6-year-old Susan! There would also have been some rather embarrassing 16-year-old cheerleader photos. Sorry to disappoint. I'm just not that technological.

Happy Birthday to Me
Happy Birthday to ME
Happy Birthday, dear MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Happy Birthday to Me

So today I am 32. You know what seems weird about that? It's twice 16, and 16 is a big year, right? I was driving, I was finally allowed to go out on a date, all that sweet 16 stuff AND I was 16 on the 16th.

I was also kind of annoying at 16. I had that high school flair for the drama. I wore torn jeans. I was still half-heartedly attempting big hair. I was also ridiculously self-centered, and although I fancied myself very worldly and wise, I was painfully sheltered and green. All of these things are very normal for a 16 year old. But I don't get that Jack and Diane song about "hold onto 16 as long as you can" because I think I was somewhat relieved to gain the experience, knowledge and compassion of each following year.

So at 32, I think I'm twice as good as that little 16-year-old. She had potential, and she had a metabolism to die for, but I just like myself so much better now. That's what I celebrate every birthday- the older I get, the more I find to like about myself. That, and the cake. I think this is going to be a good year!

P.S. SVH, that wonderful man, got me a gift certificate to get lovely things like a massage and facial and stuff. I'm so excited!

Pssst...

Hey- do you know what today is? If you sing me a song, I'll blow out some candles...

More (with pictures!) later!

SNOW DAY!

The research station where we work almost NEVER closes. But... it's been snowing steadily since early last night. When we got up this morning, we'd gotten far more than it looked like, as we discovered trying to back out of our carport. We made it about 5 feet, and then had to pull back in. We realized that perhaps we should check and see if we even had to go in today... and hooray, the station was closed! We've gotten over a foot so far, with more still coming down.

Valentine's day is a great day to have a snow day. There's been snuggling and napping and other good stuff, as well as a new-to-me episode of MST3K on You-tube. I also find that a snow day is an excellent day to read all those Chronicles of Narnia books that I've never read (I only read The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe), so I've spent a little time with Prince Caspian. We may have to brave the snow for some dessert later, as that was something we planned to pick up on the way home from work, but otherwise we've been quite comfy and cozy.

And the biggest news is- I starting knitting something! I got a lovely sock pattern and yarn from my favorite mother-in-law this past Christmas. The pattern is Rainy Day, and the yarn is Austermann Step in Jeans. It's variegated denimy colors, and I'm surprised at how pretty it is knitted. I seem to have lost my ability to multitask, so I haven't done much knitting because I'm busy doing other things. Today, though, I had more time. I feel a bit fumbly, as I haven't knit in a month, but I think it'll be ok.

Unfortunately, my camera batteries won't hold much of a charge any longer, so I have no pictures of the snow. You'll just have to take my word for it. Have a great day, my lovelies!

Spring IK 2007

We interrupt this drought in knitting content to bring you our commentary on the latest issue of Interweave Knits:

First of all, there's been a layout change. In the past, all pictures of the patterns appeared with the patterns themselves. In this issue, past the articles and just after the tutorial and accompanying patter, there is a section of full size photos of each design, similar to Vogue Knitting. This section is followed by the patterns, and there are lovely pictures with each pattern, too. Still, I preferred to have all the photos and patterns together. It's one of the things that bothered me about Vogue Knitting, and this layout is still better- I despise that there is NO picture anywhere near the pattern in Vogue- but personally, I liked it better the other way. Wah.

I like pretty much all of the designs. I don't know if I'm quite as in love as I was with the Winter issue, but it's pretty damn close. The photography is lovely, the colors all cool and springy, and it makes me want to look outside and see the pussy willows in bloom, not the 2 feet of snow we're supposed to get in the next 24 hours.

So, must I fall in love with everything Eunny Jang designs? This season, her tutorial is on entrelac and her pattern for the most delicious knee high entrelac socks is included in the issue. They are simply magnificent. I am one of those with shapely calves (just like Grumperina), and my only concern would be that the lovely entrelac pattern would be grossly misshapen once it reached said calves. Good for me that they're toe up, so perhaps, once I hit the calves, I could do something clever like go up a needle size or something to make them work.

I think I must say the same about Kate Gilbert as well. The Keyhole Top is just so cute and sassy, and has such lovely lines, it must be mine someday. Stefanie Japel has a lovely sweater in this time with interesting cables and a nice squarish neck (good for those of us with broad shoulders). I also like the Bonsai Tunic, although I'd probably forgo the tie, the Green Tea Raglan, and something in me, probably my inner 5-year-old-in-a-tutu, really likes the Swan Lake Cardigan. I'm not likely to make or wear it myself, but it's different and pretty. I like the Florentine Pillow a lot, too.

Definitely a good issue! And the online designs are all lingerie/boudoir pieces, so if you're up for some sexy little delicates, they've got 'em. My biggest problem right now is something, perhaps in the inks on the cover, makes Kouros want to attack and chew on it. I have to keep it hidden. The cover is full of little tooth marks and there are a couple of places where the background color is completely gone. Really, it's not from me drooling and licking it! Hope it's not toxic.

So What's The Skinny?

I was reading this article from Newsweek on MSN over lunch today. The subject is why skinny models could be making us fat. The discrepancy between the beauty images we see daily and the faces and bodies we actually see in the mirror is one that I've spent countless hours pondering, discussing, and ranting about. Please excuse the poor grammar. This topic just gets my knickers in a twist.

So, first of all, there's the weight thing. There are many others who can address the subject far better than I. I'm lucky enough not to suffer from eating disorders, and I've never been a dieter. I've been fortunate enough that if I'm not happy with my weight, I add some exercise, skip a couple of Cokes, my pants fit better and I'm over it. I truly know the super-skinny models and celebrities are not the norm, and although I had to say that for a long time before I really understood and believed it, I do know it's true. I don't find most of them attractive- Nicole Richie scares the hell out of me. I really want to give Kiera Knightly a sandwich. Lindsay Lohan... well, best not to open that can of worms. There's a whole lot more going there than egg salad is going to solve.

I _have_ had that punched in the stomach feeling when you put on the outfit you've seen in the magazine or the catalog and it doesn't look even remotely like it looks on her. I _have_ had that feeling when I look at my cheekbones/neck/toes/whatever that there is something just not right about me/mine. It isn't just weight. These images can cause shame about any part of a woman's appearance.

You see, this article mentioned about how much photo-editing is done. Now I know what you can do with Photoshop, and I've long sighed at the thighs on those Victoria's Secret models- you know, the pictures were the thigh looks plastic and spray-painted, with extra shading clumsily added to remove any curve at all? We've heard about airbrushing in the past, but now? Sweet Jesus, they can do anything... and DO.

Not only are moles, acne and subtle facial hair erased from already pretty faces, but retouchers are routinely asked by editors and advertisers to enlarge eyes, trim normal-size ears, fill in hairlines, straighten teeth and lengthen the already-narrow necks, waists and legs of 18-year-old beauties. link

So our beauty ideal isn't even REAL! The actual models can't even hack it. THEY don't even look that "good." If you want to see it in action, go watch this film. It's by the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty and the Dove Self-Esteem Fund (btw, I think Dove's Pro-age ads are astoundingly beautiful!). That lovely woman in the movie barely resembles herself by the time her photo is on the billboard!

It took me so long to realize that there were things about my body that, starve or paint myself, were never going to change. I have a great big ribcage, and I looked far too sturdy compared to those waify models. Why didn't I look as slender as they did? I was thin, too. I have oily skin- and I couldn't figure out why my skin, although free from acne, didn't look like the velvety faces I saw in magazines. Those women didn't even have pores! And why was it that, despite my oval face shape, I looked round compared to the girls in ads? Was it the cheekbones you could slice cheese on that were missing? Or was it perhaps the dandilion stem neck that I didn't have? It took me years to realize that there was nothing I could do about these perceived flaws. I felt like maybe I wasn't trying hard enough or something.

It kills me that, beyond using very thin, very beautiful models, they are making changes to the shapes- the skeletons- and the features of these women once they're photographed, so that they become impossible beings.

I'm so upset by this and what it means for young girls. I thought the standard was high when I was a teenager, but some of those Teen Magazine models from my youth are positively stumpy compared with what we're seeing these days. And the article does mention that younger and younger girls are concerned about body image. I mean, 42% of first- third grade girls wanting to be thinner? WHAT?

But I've already seen it. My beautiful Gabriella, my godchild, my niece, who is all of 7 years old has a friend, Cammie. Cammie is built like a gazelle; she's tall with long skinny limbs. Gabby is of average height, and she's a slender, healthy girl. Half of my Gabby's genes come from New Mexico. She's probably going to have all the wonderful Latina curves to go along with her beautiful brown eyes, and she is going to be one hell of a knock-out. But Gabby has mentioned that she's not as skinny as Cammie. Gabby has mentioned that lots of boys like Cammie. Fortunately, Gabby still thinks boys are ridiculous and wants nothing to do with them. She's a confident little spitfire, but the point is, she has noticed. She sees the difference between her body and Cammie's.

Ugh. I've been typing on this rant for hours, and I simply have no idea how to wrap it all up. It just makes me so sad that fewer and fewer girls and women find themselves beautiful. I hate that, as media becomes more and more pervasive, the beauty standard has become completely fabricated. I really hate that, despite the fact that I'm a confident woman and I like the way I look, sometimes they still make me feel bad, too. Go check out the pro-age ads if you haven't already, and see how beautiful those women are. Look for the beauty in every woman and girl you see, and share it with those, young, impressionable minds.

In fact, see YOUR beauty, and share it with all of us. Write something, take a picture, draw, whatever you can think of- show us or tell us about what's beautiful about you. Consider yourselves ALL tagged on this one.

How Kouros Came To Be

I don't think I ever told you the story of Kouros.

Carl and I decided we wanted a pet. We've both always been cat people, but several of our best friends are allergic to kitties. We finally decided, "Screw our friends! We want a cat!" We thought we would get a light-colored female, because on average, they tend to be less allergenic. We'd also wait until after we went home for Christmas. This was immediately after Thanksgiving in 2004.

The next day, I told my coworker Jenn that we had decided we were going to get a cat, and two days later she came in from getting her car fixed and summoned me to the headhouse. There was the scruffiest, saddest, mangiest kitten I'd ever seen. And he immediately scampered up to me and let me hold him. His eyes were all crusty, he didn't smell good, he had fleas, his breathing was a little wheezy... and it was too late. I was in love. It was a black male, and it was only December 3rd, and Carl reminded me of all of our previous decisions. But you don't ignore something like that, do you- 2 days after you decide to get a cat, a little lover of a kitten just falls into your lap?

Jenn said at the garage they had a new little black kitten. They said she was one of a litter that a stray had left behind the garage. They had taken the two sickliest in to the vet. One had to be put down, but this one, Sid, was going to make it and live in the garage because all the big burly mechanics were in love with her. They told Jenn that there were still two left, but they couldn't catch them. She went out to see them, and there was my Kouros, gnawing on a dried out turkey skeleton. And his last littermate was nearby, but had died. He wouldn't let the garage guys catch him, but he ran straight up to Jenn. Jenn volunteered with the SPCA and has rescued strays all her life. I think Kouros knew she was a friend. She said, "If you really want to save a life, this is it. He wouldn't make it through the weekend outside."

I took my boy to the vet the next day. He only weighed 3 pounds. Dr. Bob said he was a dead ringer for Feline Leukemia, with his runny eyes, and his respiratory problems. It was so cute- everyone in the office was so happy when the test came out negative! They were all rooting for him. Dr. Bob said, "Well, kitty, I guess you found yourself a sucker!"

So Kouros was flea dipped, given antibiotics, given an eye cream for conjunctivitis, and wormed. Did I mention his poor little belly was completely swollen with worms? He looked pregnant. I took him home, draped a sheet over my lap and brushed all the dead fleas out of his coat. He laid there, purring and looking at me like he had never been so in love. He was obsessed with grooming after that. I've never seen a cat bathe so much, and he's never stopped the meticulous cleaning. Later that night, Carl and I tried several names out on him, but none seemed to fit. I said, "He's just such a little boy, none of the names work!" And Carl came up with Kouros.

Over the next month or two, he got healthy enough to get his vaccinations. He didn't completely get over the worms, unfortunately, until May. MAY! He was wormed probably 5 times. He ended up with pneumonia that month, and with his short stay in the clinic, we finally saw the end of the worms. He's been totally healthy every since.

And he's become a fat, spoiled cat. At his vet appointment in January, he weighed 14 pounds. Last year, for the first time, he decided he may be interested in going outside. Before that, he never wanted to go out. He seemed completely happy to be inside, warm and clean. With his immune system, though, he's got to be an indoor cat.

He still likes to be in all those places he shouldn't.

More training

So we had another brilliant training session at work last week. This time, it was conflict resolution. The good thing was we were bribed with breakfast treats like bagels, fruit and donuts. Determining our working styles was the interesting part of the training- we took a little quiz and came up with some numbers in different categories. My category was "expressive" and the moderator said this type tends to have a difficult time working in government because of all the rules and regulations. And ridiculous mandatory training sessions.

There was a lot of talking, and then we took another little quiz to find out which of the 5 conflict resolution strategies we like to use. Lame. Oh, and did I mention that this training was THREE HOURS LONG? By the end, I was a bit punchy. The presenter's mixed metaphors and confused platitudes began to grate. Fortunately the sugar crash after the donut I ate at the beginning was slowing me down, so I behaved myself. Until she mentioned that person who, in disagreements, "goes straight for the juggler."

Yes, she meant to say "jugular" but, no, there was absolutely no second "u" in her pronunciation. I had to bring my hand up to cover my smile and I tried very hard not to giggle. We were sitting at a long table and turned sideways, so I couldn't see the person sitting next to me, who happened to be Carl. That was a good thing, becuase I could see Fantastic Boss across the table, and seeing his reaction to Carl nearly made me lose it. Carl was subtly moving his hands like he was juggling, but the killer was he was following the imaginary balls with his eyes.

At least I got a donut.

Books books books

I haven't been knitting. At all. Not a stitch. I think it's some sort of knitting malaise, and I'm sure I'll snap out of it eventually. But for know, I'm following my whims, and I'm not knitting even though I'm co-hosting a knit along. Slacker.

Instead, I've been reading voraciously. I hadn't been reading a whole lot recently because I always needed my eyes for other things. I listened to recorded books, but I only actually read before bed.

I had been reading The Green Knight by Iris Murdoch since Thanksgiving. I love her writing, but I read it rather slowly because it's dense. The copy I have has the most densely filled pages, too, of any book I've read before. I think maybe the margins are narrower and the typeface is small and more narrowly spaced between lines. I just finished it this morning.

I read The Other Boleyn Girl in about 5 days. That was a speedier read- much lighter fare. But it caught my fancy and I really enjoyed it. Especially since it spurred me on to read a bit more Tudor history and learn about Henry VII and his wives. Ok, I looked it up online. I didn't read any History books. But still.

This morning I started reading another purely candy book while in the bath. It's called Lirael by Garth Nix, and it's the second in a trilogy. I think they are young adult books that SVH discovered while working in a bookstore. They appeal (to me) in the same way the Harry Potter books appeal to me. The magic in this world is very different than anything I've read or seen in movies. It's a nice treat while I continue to process the Murdoch book I finished.

Lirael is SVH's book. When he saw it on the bathroom counter as I was running my bath, he said, "If you get that wet, I swear to Jebus ...." He loves his books. I'm a pro at reading in the tub, so I assured him it would be fine. Still, later, I couldn't help myself, and I called from the tub, "Carl? I was going to practice reading underwater. You don't mind, do you?" He came slamming into the bathroom, grabbed the book and stormed out. My man, he has excellent timing. I couldn't stop laughing. I think he scared the hell out of the cat. He came back in with the book and said, "Don't push me, woman."

Oooh - he's in the tub right now! Maybe I'll go dangle the book over him for a while.

Did I ever tell you...

...about the time we had to go to a workplace violence training session? We weren't trained to be violent in the workplace, of course. We were being trained on ways to avoid violence in the workplace. The first suggestion of the video was not to hire people who were likely to become violent, which was my first clue that this video was meant for people who had control over things like HIRING and not for average employees like me.

The part of that meeting I was thinking of just now was the email announcing the training. It said "You are cordially invited, but required to attend, a training session blah blah blah." Don't you just love that one?

I won't go on too much about all the off-color comments made between myself (I was sitting in the very front, of course), Fantastic Boss, and my Sleepy-Voiced Coworker/Husband. We were particularly interested in whether violence between Carl and myself would qualify as workplace or domestic violence because we're married. Just in case you were wondering, domestic violence that spills over into the workplace is considered workplace violence. I realize this is a serious subject, but because this training made no attempt to separate what employees at different levels of authority could do, nearly all suggestions had nothing to do with what would be my response or role in such things. So I became a 10-year-old again and made jokes. Quietly. To the people next to me. And then try desperately not to laugh.

So after a long morning of stifling the giggles, the piece de resistance was when our safety coordinator announced that she was available for questions 24/7. Except weekends. And evenings. And holidays.

Ew

Hi. Me again. Started off the week by vomiting spectacularly. I mostly slept and stared today.

Sometime, I'll start doing things to write about again. For now, about the most I'm capable of is reading The Other Boleyn Girl (nothing like a little tarted up historical fiction, eh?) and watching the DVDs of Firefly. Can anyone tell me why a show that good was canceled?

More when I feel better

2006 in Self-Absorbed Review

Hi. You know what I don't do much anymore? Blog. But you knew that.

The past couple of weeks have been 100% gray. I have a bit of trouble with the short daylengths and cloudy days. I didn't really want to post about how I was doing nothing more than holding down the couch. I'm barely knitting. I'm working on a second fetching for a gift (LATE late Christmas gift) for my friend Nicole. But I've hardly even been interested in that. Much less the miles of fine knitting to be done on my Enid cardigan in GRAY when it was so bloody GRAY outside.

BUT! Today, in my narrow swatch of upstate NY the sky is completely blue and cloudless as far as I can see! It's sunny and lovely and I've a new spring in my step. I thought I'd finish a post I'd started last Friday (sorry). This is the 2006 Year-in-Review. I know, it's late for that kind of thing, but I think I could use a kick start.

Knitting (completed projects):
Harry Potter Scarf
Annouk
Homely Socks
Kitty Toys
Clapotis
Baby Yoda Sweater
Kitty Hat
Felted Bag - No pic - bad blogger
Jaywalker socks
Baby Pullover - No pic again - see jaywalker picture for pieces of the body
A single Fetching for me - You'll get pictures when you deserve them, dammit!

Knitting (incomplete projects):
Tempting - To the Frog Pond, Baby!

Art (completed projects):
Still Life in Color (pics later?)
Portrait of Steve
3 Women (did I ever show that one?)
Sets and backdrops for Pirates of Penzance
September Piece-a-Day project (Just look at all of Sept '06 and the first of Oct '06)
Backdrop for A Christmas Carol

Art (incomplete projects):
Still Life in Color - did you catch that? It's done, but I'm not happy with it. Must fix.
A lovely little oil of some squash that has nothing more than the underpainting
Portrait of Miranda - one of those from my class last spring that just never looked right
Wise Guys - A painting based on some of my Grandmother's pictures from the 20s and 30s. It doesn't even have the underpainting.

Additionally, I managed to plan an art show where I work, and snare a couple of awards for my artwork. Oh- and I started a blog about the creative work I do. Yes, I just linked to this blog. Delicious.

I feel better. When I'm sitting at work, I feel like I'm not making any progress toward an artistic career. This little strutting-of-my-stuff reminds me that I'm not as far back or inactive as I feel sometimes. Thanks for indulging. Love you!

Many random comments

My cat snores.

I found out when he began snuggling and falling asleep with me, usually around 3 am. He stretches out his full length with his back to me and front paws up next to the top of my head and his head under my ear. It's maybe a bit more of a wheeze than a snore, but it's enough to wake me up.

In other news- I'm going to have to bite the bullet and go get a size 3 needle. I know, I know, I've already been through this. I even said my gauge problems were solved. But I was smoking crack or something. I think in order to make gauge with my #4 needle, I would be knitting so tightly I wouldn't enjoy the project. I'm not even knitting on my swatch because I know this #4 isn't working and I'm all crabby, so I'm totally stalled. Suck it up, soldier!

I'll go to the yarn shop tomorrow.

I made home-made mushroom soup tonight. Just for me. SVH hates mushrooms, so they're mine, all mine! Mwah hah hah hah! He made wild rice soup for himself, and he can have it, the nasty stuff.

In yet other news- I'm still polishing up my list of new year's resolutions. Yes, I make them, and yes, I take them seriously, but no, I don't feel they need to be solidified right away on the first of January. I've found if I take a little longer to think about them and decide, I actually keep them. I've got one that I've kept for 2 years solid now. But you can hear about that another day. Toodles!

New Rules For Susan

I, Susan, do solemnly swear to live by the following rules:
1. I will not spaz about my gauge before my swatch has even reached 3 inches in length
2. I will not measure my swatch with the needles still in the fabric (Can I get a duh?)
3. I am not the Yarn Harlot. I will do a proper swatch and not claim a sleeve counts. Maybe once I've knitted as much as the Harlot, I can do the same as she.

The gauge is looking much better, and I won't do my final measurements until I've given it a bit of a wash. Honestly, measuring gauge on 2 inches of fabric with the needles still in it...

Nintendo Weekend

I was wishing, wishing upon a star for today to be gray and cloudy and guess what!? It is!

I'm actually serious about that. I wanted this weekend to be, as the SVH calls it, a Nintendo weekend. We're still recovering from the driving, the visiting and the driving again. We had considered going to Syracuse or Rochester to shop- Christmas at my parents' house was an embarrassment of riches in the form of gift cards- but we were just too damn tired. Perhaps next weekend we can go get some cute shoes, some Starbucks coffee and some knitting books. This weekend, we're following Kouros's lead.

So, I never managed to take a picture of the baby sweater for my nephew-in-progress. I also never managed to take a picture of my fulled/needle-felted bag that I gave Carl's older sister for Christmas. I needle-felted a martini glass and a couple of olives on the front of it. I think I'll see if the Mother-in-law can snap a pic of the bag. And maybe once the n-i-p is born, my family will get a digital camera and they can take a picture of the nephew in the sweater. It was such a bizarre shape, but then again, it was the newborn size, and newborns are bizarrely shaped. They're all big head and chubby torso.

While I was home, I got a wonderful hand-knitted scarf from my friend Jenny! Check it out! It's a rattle snake scarf! It's so soft and warm, complete with a forked tongue and a beaded rattle! I think it's looking pretty snazzy with the tie-dyed shirt I got for Xmas. My niece Emily said I could wear the shirt on Halloween, and I think Gabby said it would make me the queen of the bumblebees. Pay no attention to the Saturday hair.

So my current knitting project, the Enid cardigan, is going slowly. I've never knitted on 4 dpns before. My other issue is this sleeve is going to be HUGE! Pay no attention to the pasty white arm- other than to show the scale of the monumental sleeve. SVH was asking if I could photoshop in a tan.

So, I guess I may be in for a quick trip to the LYS to get a smaller set of needles. So much for not leaving the couch today. I guess I did play about an hour of Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door (shut up)... well, until Hooktail laid the smack down and Mario bit it. Aaaah, Nintendo weekend.

P.S. Isn't my breakfast adorable? The mug is part of the incredibly thoughtful Christmas gift from Carl's younger sister (yes, he has 3 sisters- his older sister, his younger sister and the sleepy-voiced-sister, who's the youngest). Her friend's father made it. I love everything about it- the shape, the handle, the colors, the capacity! She also gave me some handmade earrings. I'll post a picture of them later. They're really cool.

Happy New Year!

Just a quick pre-2007 note (I'm in the central time zone, even though the blog is on Eastern). We're heading back to NY all day January 1 (and into the wee hours on the 2nd), after the best Christmas ever and one of the best new year's eve's ever, too. We've had a fabulous trip, despite the fact that I functioned mainly as a jungle gym for my nieces the past few days. It's been really good to spend time with family.

See you next year...